Pastors and Women

Dear Mike,

This time I would like to ask you if you think it is all right when a pastor goes on a two-week trip around the country only with his girlfriend.

Paula

Hi Paula,

Generally it is not a good idea.

It takes so little to destroy a pastor’s reputation and his ability to minister the Word of God that taking a vacation with his girlfriend is virtually a death knell for his life as a pastor. The precautions I’ve suggested here are precarious at best and a lot has to do with the pastor’s relationship with the girlfriend when everyone can see them together. If they have a physical relationship, they should not go on the trip. If they like one another, but are obviously keeping their relationship in control and their reputation is stellar, then they might be able to go on the trip. I would generally say, don’t do it.

It might be sort of okay as long as it he makes it very clear to the whole world that they are sleeping in separate rooms, when they are together they are clearly not hanging all over one another, and that they spend very little time alone together when they can help it.

It isn't a very good practice and I would pretty strongly caution him/them to go way out of his way to make it clear that nothing sinful is happening.

I hope this helps.

Pastor Lawyer