Love Toward Another

Mike,


Another question is : Can a pastor show his feelings publicly - e.g.tender embracing, hugging each other? He has known his girlfriend only for about three months.

Paula

Hi Paula,

Of course he can show his feelings publicly. But should he?

An even greater question is: Should he be having those feelings after only three months? In my view, which I think is Biblical, a person should keep his physical contact and emotions reined in to match their level of commitment he has with the woman. A Christian should never let his emotions run the show. And thus, unless a man has committed himself to a woman, he shouldn't be doing physical things with her that accompany commitment. In other words, if he has only an emotional friendship with a woman, but has not committed his life to her, a man should not be touching her in ways that only people committed to one another ought to be doing.

One way of measuring this would be to ask the questions: If you were married to someone else, would you be acting that way with a woman who was not your wife? Would you be holding her hand? Would you be kissing her? Would you be doing X with her?

Or another way to ask the question is: Would you like your future wife to be treating another man the way your current girlfriend is treating you? Or you could ask it this way: After you are married, would you like for your wife to be treating another man like this woman is treating you now?

You might also ask: Why, assuming he has no official commitment to this woman, he is treating someone else's wife like this? And: Why is he robbing his future wife of his heart by giving it to another woman?

I hope this helps.

Pastor Lawyer