Root of Bitterness

Dear Pastor Lawyer,

I was reading in my Bible the other day and came across Hebrews 12:15 that says to keep from letting a bitter root spring up because it will defile many people. I was wondering how you could tell if a person is bitter and what the defilement would look like. Thanks,

John


Dear John,

This is a really good question. It not an easy one to answer however. First let me describe the picture being painted in Hebrews. Sometimes, when a sidewalk is poured near a tree, even though there were no roots near the sidewalk initially, over the years the roots of the tree will come up under the sidewalk and cause it to buckle and fall apart. This is the image the writer is trying to convey. In the case of the tree, however, the tree is healthy and just doing what it was created to do. With bitterness, the bitter person has been infected with a spiritual cancer and needs to be dealt with in a very similar manner to any other kind of cancer.

Bitterness is present primarily because of unconfessed sin and a lack of forgiveness (for real or imagined offences). Consequently, it will sit under the surface just like roots under a sidewalk until the person is jostled and out will pour bitterness and anger. If the bitter person is skilled in hiding his bitterness, you may never know that he is bitter by his outward actions and reactions. He has trained himself to only use innuendo and subterfuge to spread the disease amongst the flock of God.

If you want to know if you are bitter, here are a few things to look for: First, do you find yourself getting defensive when someone approaches you about something either you or someone close to you has done? Do you find yourself getting angry over the memory of things others have done to you in the past? Do you remember the details of past altercations? Is it easy for you to think that others are causing you harm? Do you find that your friends are drifting off or that you really have no friends at all? Do you have one or two friends who are on your side? When you are at church, do you find that if you want to have a conversation with people, you have to go to them to start it? Do a person’s past sins spring into your mind when you have a disagreement with him now?

If you can answer yes to these questions, you are probably a bitter person. One of the problems with bitterness is that since the bitter person views himself as the victim in virtually every situation, he usually has a great deal of difficulty recognizing himself in a list like this. If this is the case for you, you may need to ask some honest friends to evaluate your condition.

You asked about the defilement that bitterness causes. Here are a few things you may notice by way of sidewalks splitting that indicate a bitter presence: The group where the bitter person resides will find itself splitting into camps over seemingly small and normally insignificant issues. When there is a decision to be made, instead of the folks saying what will God think of this, they tend to say what will that group or person think of this. This will be done in a defensive way (someone will say, “What do we care what so and so thinks?”). Another sign of bitterness in the camp will be the presence of Gossip. The bitter person will visit his friend with the intent of sharing his concern for what another is doing to him, and it will end up being a pity party for the bitter person. Moreover, now the friend has been defiled and often has the tendency to “share” with others and on and on until the church is split and many are defiled.

I hope this helps.

Pastor Lawyer